Now that you’re really sure that you’d want to be with this person that you’ve been dating and well … have been very “busy” with, you’re considering to drop everything and move in with him … or her. When suddenly, you realize that your partner soon to be housemate and bedmate has not seen you drool or snore your heart out or even fart in between breaths! Because honey, this isn’t going to be cinematically romantic ala Torch Song Trilogy – you can’t wake up really early everyday to fix your face, wipe out those drool marks, and gargle all the evil breath out before he wakes up. You’d be exposed to each other’s bed habits (foot swiping, scratching, rolling), sleeping mannerisms (doing the Big Ben, teeth grinding, sleep talking) and when you’re gorgeously plump, bearish or XXXL, being in one bed would definitely redefine the term “in your face” – a Queen-sized bed just isn’t good enough for two plus size queens!
You start to panic and re-consider that decision – especially when you’ve got more little monsters coming out of your secret kikay kit.
But don’t panic! The 2fatfairies are here to give you a few steps to survive those first few nights that you’re stressing over.
STEP 1: BE HONEST. COMMUNICATE. PREPARE HIM FOR THE WORST.
If you’re taking your relationship to the next level, you might as well be honest about it. Especially your snoring, your sleeping preferences and your sleeping habits. You don’t want that to be the reason to pack up and go once you realize that sleeping would be such a big deal to both of you. And while you’re at it, it might also help to exaggerate a little bit. So when he comes uber prepared, he’d realize it’s not that bad after all. (hopefully.)
STEP 2: PLAN THE FIRST NIGHT.
Though its easier to plan your first night if one decides to move in to the other’s house if the decision to live together comes to that (because then, it would just be a matter of adjustment to the owner’s sleeping arrangement), but it will be a universe of a difference when you really get your own place. Then discussing your sleeping preferences would turn into bonding moments especially when you come to choosing the house, the room where you’re going to sleep in, the bed placement and later on the type of bed framing and the mattress and pillows. Seriously, this really takes a lot of thought since most couples spend almost 1/3 of their lives sleeping together. After the first night, you ideally can do more realistic discussions and devise a game plan how you can both deal with sleeping together.
STEP 3: WHATEVER HAPPENS, BRUSH YOUR TEETH!
It’s your first few days sleeping together and the nights are just so hot, hot, hot! Initially, you’d just fall asleep and wake up in the middle of the night to have sex again and nothing else would matter because you’re just sooo into the pleasure of it all. But wait! Before you realize that the smell of food, garlic, dried cum and whatever else you’ve used in having sex does awful things to your partner when you wake up in the morning, better brush your teeth before you go (finally) to sleep. It at least lessens the impact in the morning and it adds a little bit more to your confidence when you start kissing your partner good morning.
STEP 4: KEEP YOUR MEDS CLOSE.
Yeah, I guess after #1, you’ve already admitted to your man or partner that you’re not superman. So make sure that you’ve got your decongestant, allergy meds, high blood pressure meds, or even you diabetes meds handy. Making a good impression doesn’t mean that you have to miss out on your meds schedule. And in the morning when the rhinitis steps in and you’re nose is as big as your face, that’s not going to be cute.
STEP 5: DON’T OWN THE BED, SHARE IT.
For a good night’s rest, you have to be assured that you are comfortable with the arrangement and you’re secured that the bed’s not going to give in, or your blanket’s big enough for the both of you, or you have the right kind and number of pillows. Because if it isn’t, it could get ugly and even if your partner says, “alright dear, I understand,” there might be a chance that it actually means “oh well, if that’s something I have to live with then I’ll adjust” – which doesn’t really make for a good start on the honesty department. According to an article I found on the web by Mona Lisa Macalino (http://www.yourtango.com/2012153851/5-tips-sleeping-peacefully-couple#.VGgXsYcxFE4) the psychological benefits of being close to someone at night outweigh the costs of sleeping with a partner (and his weird sleeping habits) – one hypothesis is that shared sleep promotes feelings of safety and security. Given this, instead of pushing each other, try hugging or spooning; instead of grabbing the bed sheet all to yourself, choose an extra large one for the both of you … or wear socks. J
STEP 6: WHO WAKES UP FIRST?
It would be perfect if your partner has the same schedule. Then waking up in the morning wouldn’t be such a drag because it would be at the same time. However, especially when you belong to two industries, it will be necessary to wake up at different times. Again, plan it out. If you’re an early riser and he’s a late sleeper, let him take his zzzz’s when you wake up ahead of him. You can either cook breakfast or take a shower and surprise him with your tingly fresh breath in the areas that matter. If you need to wake up earlier than him, get a vibrating alarm clock – one that can be placed under you pillow so you won’t disturb your partner especially if he’s a late sleeper.
Sleeping “twogether” entails a lot of trust. So if you’re on that level already, don’t just take it with a grain of salt. It’s entrusting yourself to another person – that in your weakest, most vulnerable state, you trust him enough to not go psycho on you as you sleep. That like everything else in your relationship, it’s a work-in-progress and with love you can conquer all – even your own uncanny sleeping habits. According to an article on WebMd by Michael J. Breus, Phd (http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/coping-with-couples-different-sleep-needs) , Concentrate on teamwork and compromise. You are both in this together. Having the right attitude goes a long way toward solving problems and strengthening the relationship — and getting better sleep